It’s Raining and it’s cold…
I just took this photo from my window. You can’t tell by it if it’s raining or not, but it just felt right for the moment… don’t know why.
The rain is physically cleansing.
The interesting thing is that it usually also cleans your soul.
This made me remember a song by miss Mary J. Blige - “Rainy Days”… It goes a little something like this:
It’s just those rainy days
Spend a lifetime tryin’ tah wash away
Until the sun comes out and shines again
Smile for me, smile for me
Tonight I had a fun night with my friend Calvin (baby, I’ll address this way in the blog, ok?). We went out to the theater (it was a lousy show… but we had a blast!) and then went walking around in Bairro Alto. It was fun!
A big kiss to him and to my baby boy Juha (sorry I didn’t go out, but I’m sooo tired!).
I’m off to bed now…
Peace.
ps.: Just to clear things out about my last post: I didn’t gave up loving… I DID gave up loving like that (see the lyric)!
Today I realized that I’m doing a choreography for a music that says everything about my past relationship… EVERYTHING!
I love this music… It’s extremely toutching, specially for me (as I relate so much to it…).
I’ll never forgive him (my ex) for what he did to me.
He took away most of my innocence about life… made me give up so many things and so many important people in my life…
I guess the lyric says it all…
Here it is:
Through With Love - Destiny’s Child
I gave my heart to you
I gave up my friends like you said I should do
Put aside my smile for you
I’d grow out my dreams if you said you didn’t approve
I gave my mind
Compromised my life
Just to see I’d find
You were trying to hold me back
Slowly throwing me off of my track
Disappointed again
[Chorus]
I’m through with it (love)
I’m through with it, through with it (love)
(…)
I’m finally giving it up
I’ve given so much in the past (past)
For a love I never had (had)
I’m through with it, I’m
I’m through with it, (love)
I’m through with it, through with it (love)
I’m finally giving it up
Oh, there you go comparing me
To every little model on the TV screen
Oh, there you go
complaining to me
Cos I wanna spend time with my family
My esteem has gone down
You never wanna take me out
You make me feel young and alone
I don’t know where to go
I’m through with it
[Chorus]
I shared all my secrets with you
Even when it hurt to tell the truth
I paralyzed my growth for you
I gave you control
Felt so helpless when but you
Couldn’t be a friend (a friend)
To anyone happy (happy)
Cos with you (I see)
Misery loves company
Don’t know if this love
Cos if this is love I don’t want it anymore
[Chorus]
Wonder why I feel so empty
I’m crying out for some stability
Destroy my many insecurities
I’m breaking down, somebody pray for me
Need a love like no other not an ordinary love
Restore my joy, bring stamina, courage
Lord I need your love
I’ve found a new, found a new love
(I don’t have to hurt no more)
I found a new love
I’ve found a new, found a new love
I’ve found a new, found a new love
I finally found it in God
I’ve given so much in the past (past)
For a love I always had (had)
I’ve found a new, found a new love
I’ve found a new, found a new love
I finally found it in God
Another Sunny day in Lisbon!
What a great day for shopping!!!
Today I headed to IKEA to get stuff for my Office/closet!
I bought a really cool structure for clothes (also known as “closet”). The shitty part is that everything comes separately. The poles, the shelves, the hangers… Everything!
As I left IKEA I thanked God for having a convertible! Otherwise I wouldn’t have any way of bringing those long poles! (humm… now I can do pole dancing!!!).
Back home I realized that shit was hard to put together! It’s not completed yet… but tomorrow I’ll have it done and posted here! You’ll love it!!!!!
Now is time to get my beauty shower and dress-up for a party I’m heading to!
See ya tomorrow!
Peace.
- "The Office Make-over: shopping!" posted on February 25th, 2005 at 22:44, by Mr.WannaB
- Posted in Design, Random Thoughts
Do you know those days in your life when, from the moment you wake up, you feel in a bubble…
Yeah… Like everything is outside of your reality… You feel like in a bubble!
I had one of those days today.
It was slow-paced and, at the same time, extremely tiring.
I got up late (I didn’t have any work today until seven), ate late, took a shower late, drop my friend Filipe at work late and even got at my work late… (shit!)
I hate these days.
I was driving around (after leaving Filipe), absorbing the city in my bubble, and, even thou I knew exactly where I was heading, I felt lost - Lost in my city, lost in my time, lost in myself…
I miss having someone by my side, to help me guide myself along the paths of life… But at the same time I love this… driving around alone having “bubble-days”!
To finish this day, I had an art gallery opening of a friend’s exhibition, which I loved! (I’ll make another post later with details and photos!)
But now, it’s off to bed!
Tomorrow I have a hard day of work… no time for bubbles!
Peace.
ps.: Big kiss to my Mom… Luv u!
- "Driving around… But where to?" posted on February 24th, 2005 at 23:35, by Mr.WannaB
- Posted in Life, Random Thoughts
Isn’t it a nice day for painting???
No, it’s not a impressionist painting… - It’s the walls in my office!!!
Me and my buddy Filipe, all dressed up like the queens that we are (NOT), decided to do a make-over in my appartment!
It all began with my bedroom a couple of weeks ago (it’s soooo beautiful now that it’s done!).
Now it’s time for the Office and then the living room, and then… and then… and then… ok, you get the point!
Check back later for the next “Changing Rooms” episode!!!
Peace.
ps.: i’m feeling better today!… yesterday was a really really negative day…
ps.2: Thank you baby Calvin (hehhehe you know why!)
On the Photo: My Office door (the “e” stands for “Escritório” - Office in Portuguese!)
I’m Lonely… I am.
The Loneliness is palpable.
That’s how i feel today…
- "I’m Lonely" posted on February 23rd, 2005 at 0:40, by Mr.WannaB
- Posted in Life, Quote, TV Moments
I got a real eye and soul candy today as I went to watch a dance show called Voices, by the Lisbon Contemporary Ballet Company (Lisboa Ballet Contemporâneo - www.lisboaballet.com). This is the company of the dance academy I work in (for five years now) - Lisbon Dance Academy (Academia de Dança de Lisboa - www.academia-danca-lisboa.com).
Benvindo da Fonseca, one of the most acclaimed contemporary dance coreographers in my country, presented all of us in the room with a selection of four coreographies - all of them amazingly beautiful!
The first one was, for me, the most intense.
It was called “Para que a terra não esqueça” (which translates to “So that the earth doesn’t forget” - or something like that!!). The peace was about the end of Word War II and the holocaust, and it was danced inside - and arround - a huge metal cage in the center of the stage. It was created in a dramatic and limited scenary so that the viewer had no option left but feel constrained in that view-point… and “don’t forget”.
Every movement of the dancers was embebed in darkness and pain - Brilliant!
I wish you could experience what I did - I was really toutched by that peace.
The other three peaces were also amazingly produced. They were “Murmúrio”, “Onegin” and “Makeba”.
I’ll end this post with a poem recited in the start of the “Onegin” peace. (I’m sorry but I’ll post this in the original version - in portuguese.)
Escrevo-lhe
Que mais poderia fazer
Que mais poderia dizer
Está agora nas suas mãos bem sei,
Castigar-me com o seu desprezo
Mas se tendes ainda uma réstia de piedade pela minha triste sorte não me ides abandonar,
A princípio queria ficar em silêncio
nunca teríeis sabido
acreditar na minha vergonha
se tivesse a esperança de vos ver uma vez mais por semana
de vos ver na vossa casa de campo
apenas de vos ouvir falar
de vos dirigir uma palavra
e depois pensar e pensar apenas uma coisa
de dia e de noite até ao nosso próximo encontro
Peace.
ps.: the photo posted is not from the show (i couldn’t get any photo from the show… sorry!)
- "Voices Within - Movement for the Soul…" posted on February 20th, 2005 at 1:26, by Mr.WannaB
- Posted in Quote, Theater, in Portuguese
This is me again…
This is another photo taken, like the first one i posted, on my way back to lisbon after an amazing night out in Porto with my best friend. It was about 10am and we were resting at a gas station!!
Big kisss to my boy Juha! (visit his fotolog - link on the side menu)
Peace.
