The Wonderful Life of Mr. WannaB

Ep. 11 - SerCalvin Knows Good Sex

There is a scene from «Alice in Wonderland» (the cartoon, you perverts!!!!) where Alice meets the caterpillar who tells her that one side of the mushroom will make her grow taller and the other side will make her grow shorter. Not knowing which side will do what, she decides to try both. By taking a bite of one side she grows to be too tall, by taking a bite of the other she grows to be too short. And by just licking the growing side, she grows back to her normal height!

How sexual is that?! Eating from either sides of a caterpillar’s mushroom to make yourself grow shorter or taller?!

The other day I came upon a foreign guy who wanted sex (don’t we all?), he wanted good sex (idem), he wanted good and lasting sex (yeah I got it!!!). For that, he asked me if I could get him some Viagra. I asked him what for. So that we could fuck for hours and hours - he replied. Do you think I have all the time in the world to fuck for hours and hours? – I asked! Well, if I take a viagra, that’s how long the effect lasts. Can’t we get to some kind of compromise, like we fuck for a couple of hours and you take care of yourself for the remaining time? No – he said – when I take a Viagra I have to have sex for hours. Did you see what Alice did with the mushroom’s growing side? – I asked him – She just licked it! If you lick a pill of Viagra maybe I’ll suck you, but guarantee you hours of sex is not my idea of wonderland.

Just how the caterpillar disappeared, so did he, and I «grew» back to my normal life. Maybe I’ll never know who painted the roses red but I know the balance between a quickie and good sex… for hours and hours it takes a very special someone… or it’s just too much.