The Wonderful Life of Mr. WannaB

Ep. 14 - Face it!

I have been away for a few days. Not away from my routine, but away from myself, mostly, hiding under a pressurizing mad recording schedule. Lately, much more than usual, I feel like I’m about to lose it and go mad. There’s a theme by Duke Ellington called Solitude that says «With gloom everywhere / I sit and I stare / I know that I’ll soon go mad». That’s me, lately! But after 5 years, I’m taking a week off in the end of the month, to start the new year fresh and awake.

2008 is a year of hope and positive thinking! A year for being up front, turning old pages and filling new ones, with new things.

A few weeks ago I heard a radio show about how couples have been changing. We used to have the institutional couples (arranged marriages, mostly), the romantic couple (the ones madly in love with each other) and nowadays couples are looking for new and strong sensations without putting the stability of the couple itself in the way.

That got me thinking about one of the pillars of relationships: fantasies! Fantasies are a part of our erotic imaginary. Some are classics (threesomes, the mailman, the cable guy), some are kinky (the mean muscle guy from the gym, the police Xmas party where you’re the dessert), some have extras (whipped cream, eatable underwear), some are risky (a blowjob in the cinema or in the middle of traffic), some are much under-rated (an escapade to a cottage in the mountains on a long weekend). Fantasies keep us going!

But fantasies just go as far as our imagination and like any other source of energy, it may someday run dry. And when our sex drive is on the low down, we find excuses or change the object of our fantasies. One of the classic excuses would be – it’s not you, it’s me! Some excuses are kinky – you break up, but you give a goodbye fuck (where you usually let go of yourself like you weren’t able to before!). Most excuses are given as an extra: You’re great, you’re a very good person, I have the best time with you and I love your cooking, but…. Many excuses lead to risky break ups: I am fed up with this relationship! But maybe, the most under-rated one, as it hides the truth you’re not willing to say, is: I don’t love you anymore!

2008 is the year of the truth so instead of «I don’t love you anymore», let’s face it: I don’t fantasize about you anymore!