Ep. 5 - Ever Lovers, Never Friends?
Compared to an average gay man list of boyfriends, Liz Taylor’s number of marriages is child’s play! I’ve had quite a few and the same amount of break ups. What can be called a good break up? I’ve had them over the phone… by e-mail… face to face… right after sex… right before sex… I’ve heard of a guy who received a break up text message… there is also the kind of break ups where you don’t need to say anything, and it’s done!
Today I got to thinking about the kinds of relationship we keep with our exes. Tradition says you should cut ties! As my experience goes, it’s healthy, it’s safe, perhaps not that mature, but it works and above all, is necessary most of the times! Usually this behavior is characterized by not «recognizing » the other person in public places, erasing all messages, mails but most times keeping the phone number (never know when you need it!).
Some break ups can lead to friendship. Perhaps the most mature of all closures and an indication of the true bases of their relationship. These people maintain regular contact and continue to share news and secrets and are truly happy for the other’s successes.
There are those who tend to keep in touch just to find if the other is doing better or worse than the self. This is a very typical behavior found in all kinds of people. Not mature at all and quite revealing of some left over feelings. Everything superfluous is erased but they still trade hypocrite smiles and tend to over enunciate their pitiful lives into a succession of dazzling events. A kind of a break even after you break up!
Perhaps my favorite are those who break up but still see each other now and then… for sex! No strings attached, no worries, no jealousy, no fights, no broken dates, no endless waits, no betrayals, no friendship… just a good old fashion fuck! A nice way to say: I don’t got the blues for you but still have the hots!
What is the best way out for a no way relationship?
June 4th, 2008 at 17:44
Not getting in…
PS: “Ep. 5″…
June 4th, 2008 at 17:56
Thanks dear!
June 4th, 2008 at 19:42
I believe relationships are paramount to one’s personal evolution. If you don’t get into one, you never learn the most important lessons in life and, most of all, you never figure out who is really matters: YOU!
I’ve been through most of the breakups you mentioned in the article. And I always learned something… humm… I wonder where we learn more: the relationship or the breakup?
Anyway, loved this article… made me think.
Luv u my dear friend!
June 5th, 2008 at 11:33
let me just say right here and now that i’m loving these posts. i really am. that said i have nothing to contribute for this one since i’ve never been in a serious relationship. i came close a few times but i never seem to make it work. i’ve only suffer a lot of small break ups (which, btw, can be devastating too).
hugs and kisses
June 5th, 2008 at 12:38
Dear B! Thank you so much. These posts are merely what they are. Every now and then I manage to raise some good questions and write a few good jokes. Any similarity with real life is just a coincidence. But they make me think about my own life and my relation with relationships. That is very important and money saving, as I’d pay a lot for a therapist! I love the contributions from my readers as they confront their points of view. I don’t think relationships are measurable. A short time can be very disturbing and intense… a long time can be empty and meaningless… Pain is always… painful! And it hurts!!!